And just what did he say back to you, naikon?
Kill yourself. Kill your family, the few friends you have, and then yourself.
Anyway OP, hope things go for a more positive way for you, I don't have anything to compare it to that sort of loss, but pull through, you can do it.
i sorry for you lost friend.
its hard accept it.
good luck and god in you side in your life.
I believe in conspirancy in ror site